The two of you are getting ready in different places. How does a note actually reach him?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\nIt needs a named carrier rather than a good intention. Notes tucked into a suit bag, propped on a mantelpiece or handed to the best man three days early have a habit of surfacing on the honeymoon. Choose one person who is definitely crossing between the two parties \u2014 his mother, a brother, whoever is delivering the buttonholes \u2014 give it to them the day before, and tell them plainly who it goes to. Write the same instruction on the envelope, because nobody remembers a verbal one on the day itself. And if you are not seeing each other before the ceremony, say so in the opening line: otherwise he spends the first paragraph wondering whether you are about to walk in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
How do you address a wedding card if they are not both changing their names?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\nUse the names they actually use. Mr and Mrs followed by his full name still turns up on cards from an older generation and nobody takes offence at it, but it assumes a change that plenty of couples do not make. The straightforward modern form is both first names in either order, or both full names on separate lines. If one of them is keeping their surname, that is not a delicate problem to be worked around: write both surnames and it reads as entirely normal, because it is. For a card going to the groom alone, his first name on its own is fine \u2014 the envelope does not have to carry the marriage at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He is not one for sentiment. Does a heartfelt note put him on the spot?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\nIt puts him on the spot only if it asks for something back. A note that says here is what I think of you, no reply required, is easy to receive even for a man who would rather not discuss it. Two things help. Keep the emotional part to one or two sentences and let something ordinary carry the rest \u2014 the tie, the breakfast, the uncle already at the bar. And close on a practical line rather than a question. People who deflect are not refusing the sentiment; they are declining to perform a response in front of a room full of relatives, which is fair enough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We are the bride’s friends and hardly know him. What do we write to the groom himself?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\nWrite about what you have seen rather than what you know. You can say honestly that she has been happier, or steadier, or more herself than she has been in years, and that the whole group has noticed \u2014 that is a real observation and it belongs to him. Avoid the two easy traps: the joke about him being brave, which lands badly from near-strangers, and the promise that you will be keeping an eye on him, which is only funny coming from family. One warm, specific line and a genuine welcome is plenty. They will read a great many cards this week, and the specific ones are the ones that get kept.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is a second wedding and there are children in the family. What changes in the wording?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\nLess than people expect, and the change is mostly about what you leave out. Nothing about starting again, nothing about it being different this time, and no reference to what came before, however kindly meant. Treat it as the wedding it is. Where children are involved, name them if they are part of the day \u2014 a line addressed to the whole household reads far better than one that quietly steps around half of it. And if you are writing to the groom and the children become his today, say plainly that they are lucky to have him. That is usually the sentence the family keeps.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
There is a small gap on the morning of a wedding when everything has been arranged and nothing has started yet, and that is usually the moment somebody hands the groom a folded note. It does not need to be long \u2014 half a card is plenty \u2014 but it does need to sound like […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":597,"featured_media":4756,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2559],"tags":[],"moimportance":[],"motype":[],"moformat":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-4755","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-greetings"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/edinburghname.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4755","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/edinburghname.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/edinburghname.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/edinburghname.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/597"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/edinburghname.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4755"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/edinburghname.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4755\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4759,"href":"https:\/\/edinburghname.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4755\/revisions\/4759"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/edinburghname.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4756"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/edinburghname.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4755"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/edinburghname.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4755"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/edinburghname.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4755"},{"taxonomy":"moimportance","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/edinburghname.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/moimportance?post=4755"},{"taxonomy":"motype","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/edinburghname.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/motype?post=4755"},{"taxonomy":"moformat","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/edinburghname.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/moformat?post=4755"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}